Here’s How to Get Your Girlfriend to Lift With You Without Affecting Relations

Every guy who goes to the gym and workout intensely desires to have a partner that workout like him. And for those already in relationships with their partner already going to the gym, there’s a high chance their girlfriend might be more focused towards cardio, which leads to questioning how to get your girlfriend to lift weights with you without sounding offensive or hurting their feelings.

how to get your girlfriend to lift

Nonetheless, you might know what you’re up to if you have such questions. In today’s date also, mainstream media focuses on exercise for women with light weights and a lot of cardio to carry on with their myth that women who lift weights will become muscular. So, it may lead to conflicts with your partner, especially in the beginning when you try to convince her to give equal importance to weights and not to be scared of the squat rack, deadlift, and adding weights.

Hence, let’s find out how to get your girlfriend to lift weight weights with you while ensuring you’re emotionally considerate towards them.

Have a Plan & Be Supportive

Good support with practicality and emotional balance works in almost all life areas. At first, getting your girl to commit to working out and making a habit of it may sound hard. So, ensure you’re looking for long-term success by being practically considerate about it.

She’ll require a proper workout plan according to her fitness level, schedule, money, and time-wise. Hence, be as supportive as you can and try reducing the excuses. And the best part is that you’ll make her know that you care about her and her happiness and wish her to take care of her body.


  • Take time and sit down with her and make time for a workout. Then, make a proper schedule and stick with it.
  • Get her gym membership, gym bag, and workout clothes. It’s part of the investment like we do for ourselves.
  • Go with her to the gym and lift together, or suggest how to find a lifting partner. It’s essential, especially in the beginning, when she doesn’t know what she’s doing.


  • Telling her to start working out without proper planning.
  • Leaving her on her own to find out the proper form of the lifts and how to structure her workouts.
  • Getting impatient with what she doesn’t know or failing to lift weights as much as you expected from her.

The goal is to let her make it a lifestyle without force and of her own will. Further, the gym could be a part of your life, and you may not be able to imagine a day without hitting the gym. But, to make it part of your girlfriend’s life, too, you’ll have to be supportive about it.

Give External Motivation so She Can Become Self Motivated

There are two types of motivation: self-motivation, which comes from within, and external motivation, which comes from external sources. Similarly, external motivation does work in the beginning when someone is trying to do something new.

Further, once people start enjoying their tasks, they start getting internal motivation from themselves. And that’s what you should aim for. In other words, you should help your girlfriend to become self-motivated for fitness and hitting weights in the gym. So, how to provide external motivation? Well, everyone is different. So, you can’t motivate everyone in one way. However, we’ll are human. So, you can try by telling:

  • You think she’s hot & desirable.
  • Empowerment that comes with good looks.
  • Ego-involvement. For instance, if she looks upon other women who lift weights, then why she can’t do it too?
  • You can remind by saying, “Do it for me.”
  • Motivational videos regarding fitness that uplifts women should be lifting.
  • Showing blogs/videos/podcasts discussing the benefits of lifting weights for women


  • Remind her how accomplishing a good workout feels great. Praise her for starting to lift weights and what results she’ll get later.
  • Help her set numerical goals such as squatting her body weights, pull-up, or doing the bench press.
  • Let her know she’s not alone, and you’re with her. You both are into together.


  • Comparing her with someone else, even if it’s a positive comparison.
  • Commenting about other girls’ bodies, even if you’re doing it to motivate her.
  • Talking about how she used to look like. Focus on where she’s heading and what she’s doing now.

Give More Importance to Strength Training

Getting girls into weight training correctly while overlooking the misinformation is a big step. So, ensure she has made a proper schedule and you’ve also convinced her not to be scared of the weights; instead, weight training should be prioritized.


  • Show her proper form for deadlifts, squats, and bench press exercises. In addition, show her how to do assistance exercises along with these main ones.
  • Give her a program that starts from a beginner’s level and push it further as the week proceeds.


  • Leaving her on her own or giving vague instructions. Not knowing how to do something may lead to fear of looking like a beginner, which can hinder her enthusiasm to start with.
  • Confusing her with too many ideas of advanced training. First, she needs to get comfortable with basic compound exercises, progressive overload, and consistency.
  • Showing her pictures of other girls who train hard.

Embrace Couple Exercise

You should look at your girlfriend like you’ve got a workout buddy. Hence, embrace those two-person exercises that couples can do together. For instance:

  • Jump squats W/ claps
  • Reach & touch planks
  • High-five push-ups

Have a Proper Workout Schedule

An adorable couple workout plan only works when you have a proper schedule where you both can stick to it. We often don’t like to go to the gym or workout, but you’ll need to stay on your schedule and look at it as work time, regardless of your mood.

Change Workout

Unless your girlfriend wants big biceps like you, there’s a high chance; you’re still questioning how to get your girlfriend to lift weights and not overthink that she’ll bulk up. You’re right; by following your workout, she won’t make muscles.

However, it also means she doesn’t have to do an exact intense workout like you. Instead, take her with you to the gym, and you do your own workout and help her with the workout that’s according to her fitness level and goals. Similarly, the gym has a personalized workout for every client, and she can do that, either.

Consider Gym Date

You may’ve heard about a gym date with your potential partner. If you both have a common interest and like to stay fit, setting up a gym date in your matching activewear would be easy. Trust me; it’ll make a change from a typical dating scenario, like going to a movie or dinner.

Similarly, working out with your partner will motivate you both to stay fit, and you would like to carry out the exercises you want to do. So even if you don’t lift together, go to the gym as a couple, which will positively affect your relationship.

Keep Realistic Expectations

Before she starts lifting weights, you’ll have to explain to her that she won’t look like any fitness model within a month. Fitness is a lifestyle; you must be consistent with your workout and diet. Everyone looks for fast results and gets disappointed once they can’t achieve them in their time frame. Hence, you must explain to her to stay focused and consistent about it to keep her momentum going.

Don’t Be Rude

Yes, I wrote don’t be rude. Let me explain to you with an example. In the gym, I saw a couple together, and her man became his girlfriend’s trainer. By looking at her workout, anyone can say she’s not into fitness or who has recently started to working out. And the worst part is her partner, instead of supporting her, started indirectly misbehaving with her just because she couldn’t do push-ups or pull-ups. And trust me, that guy isn’t any jacked meathead either; I can bet he won’t even be able to do 200-pound squats.

Seriously, she’s a human; she has a different lifestyle or different choices. But it doesn’t mean that just because she can’t exercise as you want her to, she’s less than anyone, or you got the license to insult her. Instead, you must be patient with your girlfriend because you want to make a lifestyle change and form it into a habit that won’t happen in a day.

Be Clear With Expectations

Before you head to the gym, let your partner know what should be expected once you both enter the gym. For instance, you don’t want to get involved in long conversations in the gym. Instead, you’re someone who likes to have their personal time wearing wireless headphones. Also, make sure you figure out what’s your partner’s style. For example, try to know whether they like to be encouraged through some tough love or a long car ride to home does the work.

It’s Okay to Take Care of Yourself Too

It’s a fact mostly all of us are at different fitness levels. So, for instance, if you’re among those who question how to get your girlfriend to lift weights, then definitely she isn’t into weight training, and if she’s, then she’s lifting small cardio weights.

Hence, it doesn’t mean you can’t do your own workout according to your fitness level. And, if you know your partner will need more of your time in the gym, like a spot or helping her train, ensure you go to the gym a little early and do your main workout and keep remaining finisher at the end, which you can enjoy with your partner together. But make sure you’re planning it and letting your plans known to your partner.

Some Other Things You Should Consider

Those who have read the above tips might have already got their question about how to get your girlfriend to lift weights in the gym answered. However, below are some other things you should consider to make her fitness journey easier. For example:

  • Let her do one program for at least 8 to 12 weeks before you change to another workout routine. So, for example, if you try Jamie Eason’s workout routine: From Flat to All That, which is of 90-days, then ensure she doesn’t switch to another program before completing it.
  • Choose workout plans that have higher reps and sets. And gradually lower the reps as strength increases.
  • Don’t let her overindulge in cardio, at least on strength training days. And, if she wants to, let her finish with a short and intense circuit with an ab workout.
  • Go for intense circuits such as treadmill sprints, 100 kettlebell swings, tire flips, sled pulls, stair springs, and bodyweight circuits.
  • Ensure she has a notebook or an application to track workouts for goal setting.
  • Initially, keep weight lifting light and go for higher reps, like 10 to 12 per set.

Closing Thoughts

Though initially, you may struggle and question yourself, like how to get your girlfriend to lift or what you can do to keep her motivated for strength training. But, if she remains consistent, for which you’ll have to be supportive, then in the long run, she’ll become self-motivated and won’t need anyone’s support. Similarly, she’ll have her own reasons to continue with strength training and become passionate about it.

Satinder Chowdhry Avatar

Satinder Chowdhry